Unsuccessfully Coping
by seasonofthepumpkin
Summary: Hojo is unsuccessfully coping with the natural beauty of infidelity. You've been warned.


Unsuccessfully Coping With the Natural Beauty of Infidelity  
  
01.19.04  
  
"So, where ::did:: you let him touch you?"   
  
Hojo asked, his voice tight with barely supressed anger. After weeks of suspiscion, his fears had finally come true.  
  
He'd heard speculation about her and the Turk, but to hear it from her own lips just stung.  
  
His wife Lucrecia sat on the edge of the bed with her face buried in her hands, tears silently flowing from her eyes.   
  
She wondered what he was capable of, and found herself becoming very frightened. She'd sat  
  
here for a good half hour listening to him rant and rave, head bowed penitently. Lucrecia had known  
  
that it would be a very unpleasent experience if he ever found out about her relationship with Vincent, and now  
  
the time had come for her to pay for her transgressions.  
  
"Where did you let that filthy Turk put his filthy hands? Is there anything he hasn't contaminated with  
  
his disgusting touch? Answer me, whore." He prodded her, bringing fresh sobs from her burning throat.  
  
"Simon... S-simon... please..." She whimpered, wincing at his very touch. He frowned and pushed her onto her  
  
back, pinning her by the shoulders. "Please, think about our child...!" Lucrecia cried, desperately trying to   
  
push him off of her.   
  
"Our child obviously hasn't been on your mind, bitch." Rage seeped from his very voice, eyes blazing like a mad man's  
  
as he leaned over her, staring into her frightened green eyes. "Nothing but fucking your pretty   
  
Turk has been on your mind, dearest." Her   
  
chest heaved with sobs, drawing his attention to the two soft pillows of flesh sitting atop her chest.   
  
"Did you let him play with these? Did he nibble and drool over them like a filthy dog slobbering over it's dish?"  
  
Lucrecia winced, too afraid to reply. God, his eyes... they seemed so ablaze with insanity... She sent up a silent prayer  
  
to whatever gods there where above that he not harm her or her child this night. He was shaking her now, demanding   
  
she answer. Her head flopped helplessly, drawing little cries of protest from her lips. Finally she grit her teeth and managed  
  
to let out a stifled 'yes'. He stopped shaking her then.  
  
"What should be done with you? What the fuck should I do with my pregnant wife who couldn't keep her pretty legs closed?"  
  
His tone was icy and contmplative now, something that was somehow even more frightening than his earlier lividity.  
  
"...the baby..." She whispered, only to be cut off with a scathing look.   
  
"You don't know-" He began, teeth clenched tight. "How much I'd like to hit you right now, 'Crecia. Hell, right  
  
now I'd give about anything to swell those pretty green eyes up, and split those lying lips. You don't know how much  
  
I'd like that..."  
  
Her eyes widened, and she began to say something only to be cut off by a ferocious kiss. His kiss was deep and  
  
probing and full of madness, sending a shiver through her body. After a moment he disengaged, and gave her a grim  
  
look.   
  
"But I won't. I've never hit you, and I won't start now."   
  
"Please... please let me up," she whispered, her heart beating against her chest like one of their many laboratory mice thrashing in  
  
it's cage. "I... I told you I was sorry, just let me up, please just let me up...."  
  
"I could do that," he replied, that hard edge still quite evident in his voice. "I could just let you up, and pretend tonight  
  
never happened. But you know what, 'Crecia? I won't. Something has to be done with you." His gaze fell onto her wedding ring,  
  
and he couldn't help but smirk.   
  
"Did you wear this little gold circle on your finger while the two of you played 'round? Heh. Of course you did, you'd  
  
never have thought to take it off. Did it ever cross your mind that there was a reason I put that on your finger? Maybe it  
  
was because I loved you and wanted to be with you the rest of my life? Ever think of that? No, you were too busy crying and writhing   
  
under your lover the hired gun." he took her left hand in his and stared at the ring for a moment, a small smile playing across  
  
his lips.   
  
She wasn't saying anything anymore, she was just watching him intently, afraid if she took her eyes away from him he  
  
might choose that moment to strike. Lucrecia didn't think he would actually harm her... not with the baby and everything.  
  
And it was true, he'd never once struck her in all the time they'd been together. She could give him that. Not once had he ever even raised his hand to her. They'd had their little go-rounds, which usually resulted in him going off to sulk, and with her giving him the   
  
silent treatment. Nothing more and nothing less.   
  
But this... she'd never seen him so angry in all their time together.   
  
And she'd never been so scared.  
  
"Well? Aren't you even going to try to justify your actions?" He prodded, still loosely holding her trembling hand.   
  
"What is it? I didn't pay enough attention to you, I wasn't a good enough husband, I wasn't a good enough fuck, I wasn't  
  
good enough period? Pick one. Or all of them, I really don't give a fuck now."  
  
"...you're hurting me."   
  
Her eyes glimmered with wetness. He almost winced, her tears cutting into him like a knife. He   
  
almost wanted to take her into his arms and whisper little things that  
  
would make her love him again, things that would erase these last few weeks.   
  
Things he should have said when he'd   
  
had the chance, before she'd killed what love she'd ever managed to feel for him.   
  
Too late. Too late for loving words, too late for whispered promises. It was too late for both of them now.   
  
And it was definitely too late for tears.  
  
Still... she was right about the baby. He redistributed his weight so she wasn't quite as crushed. But as for letting her up...  
  
he couldn't do that. He was too afraid of what she would do, and what he might do.   
  
"Lucrecia..."  
  
Her eyes had narrowed  
  
into two small chinks, so small the green was obscured by dark lashes and beading tears. Those pale lips were twisted into that  
  
peculiar grimace that only came with the most painful sobs.   
  
i...she is your wife.. ...she is only human. ..if not for that Turk.../i  
  
Fucking Turk.  
  
With that thought he let go of Lucrecia. She was quick to upright herself, clutching her midsection protectively. For a short  
  
moment she merely stared at him, still trying to digest what had happened in these last few minutes.   
  
Hojo stared back, any will to hurt her seeping out of him like water through a sieve. He had no idea what to say to her, there  
  
was really nothing to say. He'd said it all, and yet... he hadn't said enough.   
  
Without a word she rose from the bed, gave him a last baleful look, then turned and walked from the room.  
  
Funny how her silence stung more than anything she could have said. But it had always been that way when she shut  
  
herself off from him. And how could he blame her? He found himself wishing she'd said something, anything; even though  
  
anything that fell from her lips right now was certain to be caustic and angry. Even that would have been better than that  
  
silence.  
  
Any other time he would have wondered where she had gone. But this time he knew.  
  
She was running off to her Turk, as she'd probably  
  
done after every argument they'd had since coming here. Probably curled in his arms right now,  
  
telling him all about what a sadistic  
  
bastard she'd married. And he was probably nodding in agreement, telling her she could do much better. Much better  
  
indeed...  
  
He couldn't hurt Lucrecia, as much as he would have loved to. He couldn't make her cry, he couldn't make her  
  
hate him anymore than she already did. He loved her too much.  
  
Love fucking sucked sometimes.   
  
Her Turk was a very different story however. He'd just have to pay for both of their transgressions, since Hojo couldn't  
  
bring himself to harm Lucrecia herself. It might be unfair, but it was all he could offer. Someone had to pay for this,  
  
and whom better than the one who'd likely instigated it?  
  
There wasn't much he could do right now, but things always have a way of working themsleves out in the end.  
  
He'd just have to be patient.   
  
For the moment however, he'd have to just go on unsuccesfully coping with the natural  
  
beauty of infidelity.  
  
........................ 


End file.
